STRATEGIES FOR
TEACHERS
- Intervene quickly and
decidedly
in bullying situations
- Consistently apply
consequences
- Provide praise for the
diffusion of bullying
- Provide adequate
supervision at
recess, lunch and passing periods.
- Initiate serious talks with
victims and parents as well as bullies and parents
- Promote classroom
discussions
of bullying behavior
HOW TO DISCUSS BULLYING
BEHAVIOR WITH A BULLY
Make the message absolutely
clear
that bullying behavior is non-acceptable
When time allows, attempt to
discover underlying problems that the aggressor may be
experiencing
and provide appropriate support and/or referrals
Provide the bully with a quiet
place to calm down
HOW TO HELP THE VICTIMS OF
BULLYING BEHAVIOR
- Teach all students the six
steps of dealing with a bully:
- Ignore them, when
possible
- Tell them you don't like
it
- Move away from them
- Ask them to stop
- Tell them firmly to
stop
- Ask for adult
assistance
DO'S AND DON'TS FOR
TEACHERS
DEALING WITH BULLIES
- Don't tell a child to fight
back
- Don't yell at or insult the
bully
- Don't blame the
victim
- Do ask other students to
report
bullying behavior. Give the clear message that bullying is
not
acceptable at school, and discuss the distinction between
"reporting" and "tattling".
- Don't bring the parents of
the
bully and the victim together; it seldom helps.
- Don't forget that bullies
need
adult intervention as much as victims do. You can help
bullies
learn acceptable ways to deal with their
behavior.
Things To
Remember
When Dealing With Bullies
FIRST PRINCIPLES
Although resources will always
be
limited, we as teachers and students have a responsibility to
know
which interventions are likely to work and which are unlikely to
work. For example, much research has been done in areas of other
types of abuse that parallel bullying and we can learn from this
research simply by following the relevant parallels and the
interventions that have been tried with them:
- sexual abuse
- spousal abuse
- sexual
harassment
FOUR PHASES OF SOCIAL
REACTION
TO ABUSE
Exactly what are we doing
about
the bully problem? As teachers, parents and students are we
doing
enough? Do we not care because it hasn't yet effected us? Will
we
simply remain a part of the silent majority and look the other
way?
The questions surrounding abuse of any kind are never easy to
answer. We might shrug our shoulders, we might react with angry
comments or gasps but, for the most part, we just wonder why
some
people do what they do and then go off on our merry ways. It has
only been in the last 60 years that civilized societies have
begun
to take abuse crimes seriously so we are still more or less
experimenting with both the questions and the answers. So, the
question remains: "What exactly are we doing about the
bully
problem?" And better still: "What exactly are
YOU
doing about it?"
Society has reacted to sexual
abuse, spousal abuse, sexual harassment, hate crimes and
bullying:
- With denial
- By telling the victim to
solve
the problem
- With broad-brush
educational
efforts
- With interventions based on
consequences followed by counseling for perpetrators,
support
for victims, and education of the silent
majority
INTERVENTION
STATISTICS
- There is one incident of
bullying every seven minutes
- Adults intervene in 4% of
bullying incidents
- Peers intervene in 11% of
bullying incidents
- No one intervenes in 85% of
bullying incidents
- Question:
What conclusions do students draw from this?
TRAINING VICTIMS
Although it is never the
victim's
fault we must still do what we can to educate them in order that
they might be free of the type of harassment normally caused by
bullies. There is, however, one major problem with educating
victims
in that by attempting to "train" them to do all of the
right things when in the company of bullies we are actually
encouraging them to blame themselves and causing them to think
that
it is they who are in need of this specialized education. Like
the
disadvantages, the advantages are obvious, but either way, right
or
wrong, here is how we educate the victims:
- We offer assertiveness
training
- We teach them how to blend
in
- We tell them to: "Just
ignore it"
- We remind them that:
"Sticks and Stones may break my
bones..."
Advantages:
Builds a sense of safety
Disadvantages: Encourages victims to blame
themselves
"No one can make you
feel
inferior without your consent." ~ Eleanor
Roosevelt
SCHOOL AND COMMUNITY
INTERVENTION
Everyone must be involved in
helping solve the bully problem that exists at school and in the
community. Teachers, parents, students, clergy, youth group
leaders
and other community members who might be locally known for their
involvement in sports or the arts must do whatever they
can
to speak out, to intervene and to help guide children toward a
life-path of non-violence. Bringing a local children's
entertainer
or sports celebrity into the classroom to speak on the topic and
to
engage the children in discussions concerning the disadvantages
of
hitting, pushing and name calling is one idea. Here are a few
key
topics of discussion for educators and community members that
may
help bring concerned people together in order to help solve the
bully problem:
- Consensus -
development
- Consistent enforcement of
rules
- Ongoing education for
all
- Ongoing monitoring of
schools,
neighborhoods and problem individuals
- Community sponsored events
to
promote awareness
- Intervention with
bullies
- Support for
victims
CONSEQUENCES
There must be consequences
involved for those who take part in acts of bullying. Detention
and
denying bullies certain privileges is a start but if these
penalties
are of no value then it is our responsibility to find out what
type
of repayment is going to cause the bully to react in a positive
manner. Providing an environment of people, school mates and
friends
who look down upon such acts can also help as a deterrent
because it
puts bullies in the uncomfortable situation of embarrassing and
humiliating themselves, but even with this there must come
further
consequences and these consequences must be:
- Predictable
- Immediate
- Inevitable
- Escalating
- Specifically chosen for
that
particular person
- Uniform - same expectations
of
all
- Confrontational - being
prepared to deal with their denial
Consistent use of
consequences
will reduce bullying and are a necessary component of effective
prevention. Inconsistent enforcement makes the problem
worse.
EDUCATING THE
MAJORITY
Those of us who do not bully
others but have continued to remain silent when it comes to
intervening in such issues are of the majority. It is because of
our
numbers that we have the opportunity to offer a positive
contribution when it comes to the bully problem. Enforcement of
rules and consequences are helpful but continuous thought and
actions must be in place to ensure a safe environment at school
and
in our neighborhoods. Here are a few things teachers and
students
can do to help stop bullying and to educate the silent
majority:
- Enforce rules and
consequences
- Start a Love & Safety
Club
Program in your school
- Teach the silent majority
to
speak up, to tell and to reach out
- Build peer pressure
- Stop Copycat
bullying
- Discover the creative side
to
bullies and help get them involved
- Specially appointed
Secret
Agent school ground bully monitors
THE BULLIES HOME
ENVIRONMENT
Food For
Thought:
One thing we as teachers and students must remember is that
bullies
often come from homes where there is little warmth and parental
attention, and where parents discipline inconsistently using
physical punishment and emotional outbursts.
DEALING WITH BULLIES -
EDUCATION AND COUNSELING
Formal:
Structured education and counseling that stresses acknowledging
actions, empathy development and restitution. May be
effective
if paired with consequences.
Informal:
Serious talks, requests to apologize, asking why, pleading, and
expressions of frustration. These are unlikely to help and
may
even make the situation worse.
WHAT BULLIES NEED TO
DO
Everything we do impacts upon
our
lives and in many instances these actions impact upon the lives
of
others. Bullies don't see this. Their actions are for the
moment,
for attention and for self-gratification. They see no one as the
victim and those who must suffer at the hands of the bully are
looked upon as nothing more than easy pickings and a way to be
noticed by others. Bullies must be made to understand how their
actions effect others and how others look at them because of
their
actions. Here is a list of seven things bullies must
do:
- Acknowledge their own
actions
- Acknowledge results of
behavior
on self
- Develop shame
- Change actions to stay out
of
trouble
- Find other ways to get
needs
met
- Acknowledge results of
behaviour on others
- Develop
guilt
SUPPORTING THE
VICTIMS
Victims and potential victims
need
to discuss the issues that surround bullying. As in most abuse
situations, education is the key. Discussing the problem, asking
questions and developing answers that relate to the problem is
important. Special in-class activities such as skits, list
making
and/or drawing and coloring exercises can help. All of this
along
with support from your local community can go a long way into
discovering ways of lessening the bullying problems on your
school
ground and in your neighborhood. Here are a few things to
remember
when dealing with victims and potential victims:
- Education, not
therapy
- Develop an answer to the
question: "Why?"
- Develop an answer to the
question: "Why me?"
- Expressive education - act,
write, draw, color, etc...
- Supportive, safe community
surroundings
- Protection from future
harassment
- Support from others with
similar histories
USEFUL QUESTIONS TO ASK
BULLIES
Most reactions to bullying
incidents are spontaneous, emotional and are looked upon by the
bully as just another idle threat. A moment for thought along
with
the proper environment is necessary to clear the air and to ask
all
of the right questions. Here are six questions you can ask the
perpetrator once you have them in a comfortable
environment:
- What did you do?
- Why was that a bad thing to
do?
- Who did you hurt?
- What were you trying to
accomplish?
- Next time you have that
goal,
how will you meet it without hurting anybody?
- How will you help the
person
that you hurt?
ALTERNATIVES TO SAYING I'M
SORRY
The words "I'm
sorry"
are probably the most over-spoken words in the world and such a
convenient apology when no others are available or suggested.
However, once this simply apology has taken place a bully will
forget about it and continue harassing his or her victim.
Bullies
must be forced to confront their actions head on and to
apologize
not simply with words but with actions. Here are a few
alternatives
to saying "I'm sorry".
- Have them describe what
they
did to the other person.
- Have them tell the other
person
what effect they think their actions had on
them.
- Have them make a real
commitment not to do it again.
- Have them do something for
or
with the other person that they both enjoy.
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