This started out with me wanting to write a simple song about nicknames. It soon became a song about the nicknames I grew up with in Whitney Pier. It then snowballed into a seventeen verse monstrosity that tells an interesting story while making mention of one hundred and ninety seven nicknames, all from Whitney Pier, Cape Breton, Nova Scotia. I've performed this song only three times in my life because of the length of it. Each time I performed it, it was in front of a group of people who grew up in Whitney Pier. It has never failed that at least one person would tell me (after singing one hundred and ninety seven nicknames) that I forgot to mentioned One-Lung, Knockers, and Ten-Ta-Two.  The truth is, one can only go on for so long. Had I included every single Whitney Pier nickname the song would have been another seventeen verses long. Anyway, the story is, with only three live performances, this song has gained cult notoriety by being the song people heard "about", but never actually "heard". Well, here it is for your listening enjoyment, my tribute to all of the people with nicknames from Whitney Pier.

~ Duncan 

www.duncanwells.ca

Other Related Sites Of Interest

                           Songwriter Demos

                           Songs For Children

                           Duncan's Original Playscripts

                          The Get Up Show On Get Up Radio

                          The Love & Safety Club For Children

                          Cape Breton Island's 4 Men In A Tub

The Annual Soriee Of People With Nick Names

Words & Music by Duncan Wells

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Ickum and Arky and Coogie and Codge
Benny and Bopper and Jinks
were all gettin' ready last Saturday night
for some kind of fancy event.
They were dressed in tuxedos like shiny new dimes.
The music was perfect and everything rhymed.
They were goin' out dancin' cos that was the night
of the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Egghead and Biddy and Buzzy were there
with Beefy and Cricket and Fish,
Blannie and Bucky and Cubie and Clods
and Bully and Rope Head and Midge.
Though nobody knew each other's real name
they laughed and they mingled they danced and they sang
because that's what they loved to do, that's why they came
to the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Ittwa and Kabassie arrived the same time
all smilin' to see their old friends
like Breezer and Wizard and Bumper and Sister
and Hopper and Gloppers and Red.
Hallie and Lallie were havin' a ball
with Dodie and Dollie up there on the floor.
I've never seen anything like it before
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Bloomers and Boomie, Roadrunner and Rat,
Wee Wee and Wheezie and Dirt
were smilin' and flirtin' when Deemie walked by
with Biggy and Chinny and Squirt.
Bricky and Bullseye were tippin' the jar,
Coal Miner staggered while Slim tended bar,
Nicker's on fire but no one's alarmed
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Hinky and Pinky and Winky and Duff
were making a wonderful noise
while Gubby and Giggy and Bobbi and Diddy
were giddy with nothin' but Joy.
Then in walked the Gobbler with ruler in hand.
Bulldog and Joner and Rango all ran
while Moby and Blick took requests for the band
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Crackers and Curly got Goofy and Brittles
kissed Cuddles while Chum called to Crow,
who was stuck in the middle of Swivel and Diddles
and Buddy and Beanzie and Fro.
Edgie and Leddie got lost in the crowd.
There was Farmer and Swimmer and Boog and his pals
and you've never seen Campy the Cop look so proud
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Bender and Bird were out spreadin' the word
that the grub would be comin' out soon.
Mackie and Mac gave each other a slap
on the back and were laughing like fools
at Diggy and Butch and Cisco and Chick
who were woofin' their guts, oh boy were they sick
but still it don't get any better than this
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Honey and Bunny and Kitten and Bugsy
and Soupy and Wa Wa and Sid
were doing the Limbo while Lexi and Doo Doo
were holding each end of the stick.
Gulliver, Fippy and Tato and Squirrel
were quietly sittin' back watchin' the girls
then Gully grabbed Tilly and gave her a whirl
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Whitey and La La were talkin' 'bout Maw
and her store where they used to hang out.
Toddy and Oop and Gramps couldn't come
so they all raised a glass to their health.
Dukie was doin' the six o'clock news.
Duck did impressions and Binks sang the blues.
The Dinky's kept rockin' till quarter to two
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Soon the fiddles came out and Baseball and B.O.
got up on the floor for a step.
Dogface and Cowboy were loudy and rowd
and the drinker the drunker they'd get.
Chooky and Sookie were feelin' no pain.
Corky and Crazy Legs didn't complain
'cos tonight was the night they both hoped to get laid
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Bimbo and Jimbo and Shiney and Bingo
and Chuppy and Chuckie and Flip
were at the buffet checkin' out the display
when Speedy and Woodie and Gibb
yelled out to the fiddler "Dewey get here
and play Missus MacLeod and we'll buy you a beer"
while Burger and Wheels yelled "Give er da gears"
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Nibsy and Fats, the Red Baron and Float
were pounding their feet on the floor
in time to the fiddle while Camel and Chishel Chin
made a quick dash for the door
to see Bobo and Sonny out under the moon
while Popcorn and Mouse and Frog followed suit,
yeah the moment was perfect for one final tune
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Ah, but then Eckie got lippy with Googy and Kippy,
tongues were a' waggin' and sharp.
Tapeworm and Mope and then Knuckles came out
while the girls were all callin' for Tarp
to end it all now before someone got hurt
but Gumba grabbed Goose and he ripped off his shirt
and from there well, you guessed it, it only got worse
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Then Turk and the Hawk got into a squawk
while Ola was pickin' at Nit.
Rusty caught Ace with a fist in the face
by mistake when he meant to hit Skip.
Zonker and Freap were passed out in a heap.
Big Toad and Big Daddy were up on their feet.
Mucky got smacked and he lost his false teeth
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Pipes took a knee from a ninety degree
Magub took a kick to the back.
Hogan and Hunch and the Taylor Street bunch
had Ronzie and Skully and Zak
stuck in a corner with Cud Bait and Chy.
The blood started flyin' but nobody cried
as daylight came creeping to ten after five
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

Hubba and Bozo and Jokie and Hoss
Tootsie and Cookie and Boots
let out their applause when in through the door
walked Codfish, Canoe Head and Deuce.
He was dressed in his robe like three people in one
while Beaver and Teecee and Boxer and Bug
yelled, "Everyone time for a big ol' group hug"
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.

So, Punkin and Scuffles got up to the mike.
Gazoo ran to grab his guitar.
They all gathered round in a circle to sing
and they all placed a hand on their heart.
They joined on a chorus they all held so dear
of Victoria Road and their home in the Pier
then they all said good bye
and I'll see ya next year
at the Annual Soiree of People With Nicknames
that took place last Saturday night.